Sixth Post Ever!!

Good eveningz! So sorryz I could not write yesterday. It was the Best Day Ever, and I was so happy and too distracted to write! You see, I am a small and excitable puppy, and sometimes I forget things I need to do because life is so great and everything is wonderful! 

Maybe I’ll catch you all up on my past few days. Just so you know, they were the Best Day Ever. Momma is starting school again, so she leaves forever and Maggie and I go into kennels and she comes back and plays. 

The first day was Best Day Ever, but sort of a little boring. Momma wakes up late and Maggie and I are already awake, I’m a little bored. Then we go into kennels forever and ever to wait for Momma.

We wait forever for Momma to get home, but Short Human and Grumpa come back before her. That’s okay, though, because they let us run outside and when we come in Short Human lets me jump on his lap and cuddle close. Then I lick his face and he pets me. I’m very persuasive that way. 

When Momma gets home I think I’ll get all sorts of attention, but she just sits down on the couch and opens a book and looks at it. So I snuggle in beside her and Maggie gets on the other side and Momma is still looking at the book, which is definitely more boring than me. So Maggie and I rub our noses against Momma’s arms and Maggie lays on her arm, but Momma keeps looking at her boring, uncute book. Maggie lays her head on Momma’s chest, but Momma doesn’t even move her book, she just tells Maggie to move her nose! Maggie doesn’t want to move; She wants Momma to pet her, so she leaves her head where it is. Then Momma puts the book on her nose! And Maggie’s like “Fine then. I’ll just wait until you move it. You’ll move it. I’m so cute.” Momma didn’t move the book; Maggie moved her nose. Books won, and Momma read the rest of the night.

Yesterday was another Best Day Ever, too. Yesterday Momma wakes up and pets us in bed for a long time. When we go upstairs I smell something funny and I hear something moving: Cleaning Lady is here. I hate Cleaning Lady! She smells disinfecty and sour, which means she hates cuddling puppies.(People who love cuddling puppies smell sweet and warm.) 

I hate people who hate cuddling puppies. Mean Kid hates cuddling puppies (Remember him? He’s Short Human’s smelly friend). Did I tell you what I do to him? I bark and bark and snarl and tell him he better watch it or I’ll attack and do you really think you can take it? That’s what I do to Cleaning Lady: I bark at her to tell her she better get out of my house right now or else. I run up to her really fast while I’m barking and then I stop one puppy-length away so she knows I’m too dangerous to be close to her. Then I bark some more. If she tries to come close, I back up because if I get too close, I might do something crazy. If she backs away I let her go because darn right you’re backing away! 

She doesn’t really go anywhere, though. Momma just yells at me to get down here, so I go down there. But when I go back upstairs, I warn Cleaning Lady that she better watch herself and not bother Momma and me, OR ELSE. Momma yells at me again to leave her alone, so I guess I have to. I wish I could bark at her some more because I think she still needs to be taught a lesson. Things are too cushy for her.

Momma’s getting ready and Maggie and I are fighting over a toy, then we go upstairs and Momma says to get back over here, so I go back over there. Maggie and I go into kennels even though I’d rather stay out and keep an eye on Cleaning Lady because I don’t trust her at all and I’m sure that as soon as Momma leaves, Cleaning Lady will do something horribleterribleawful.

When we’re in kennels, we’re there forever and ever and ever and ever. Forever, for real. Grumpa and Short Human get back earlier than Momma again, luckily, and Maggie and I play with Short Human because Grumpa doesn’t want us to jump all over him, but Short Human doesn’t seem to mind.

Momma gets home really late, and all she wants to do is read. I’m so tired of reading. Oh, but then Grumpa and Short Human bring Momma dinnahz, and she has food and gives me the lid to her soup and Maggie and I both get bread! Really good, tough-crusty bread! I forgive her for the reading.

The End!