Fifth Post Ever!!

Oh my goodness! Best Day Ever! I'm so sorry that it's taken so long for me to post today. Momma wouldn't let me get on the computer until this evening, but Short Human was on ALL NIGHT until now! Momma didn't even make him get off. I kept telling her "I have to write my blog!! What if people want to read my blog?! They can't read it because I can't write it!!" I would of told her that you'd be so mad at me, but I'm too cute for you to be mad.

I'll just skip to my stories from yesterday, which was the Best Day Ever, absolutely.

I wake up and Mean Kid is at my house because Short Human likes him. I don't know why. I hate him. I have always hated him. He's so mean. Whenever I seehim I bark and bark and bark until he goes away, but he usually doesn't go away so I bark and bark and act like he really better get out of here or I might do something crazy. Usually Mean Kid complains to Short Human and Short Human sticks me in a room or my kennel or something so Mean Kid can't see me because I'm so scary. Did I mention that Mean Kid smells? He always smells, not like Short Human smells, either. He smells like something gross, which is saying a lot because I eat poop.

So Mean Kid is here and I bark through the door (Maggie and Momma and I are still in the bedroom with the door closed) until he leaves. Nothing very exciting happens for a while after he leaves. Well, that's not true. Lots happens, and everything that happens is very exciting because it's the Best Day Ever! We play fetch, we run, we nap, we eat, and everything is very exciting. Then it gets BETTER!!!

Momma gets a collar and leash out, which means we're going somewhere! Maggie gets the leash and collar and I get nothing, which means we're going in the car (I'm a very good puppy and don't run away like crazy, so I don't need a leash)! I LOVE the car!!!! My favorite part is when Momma opens the window and I stick my head out! She keeps the windows closed because it's cold, but I still love riding in the car.

We drive to a house and get out, and the house is Toby's house! Toby's house is surrounded by woods and has a small fenced area which is small for Toby but perfect for Maggie and me. Toby is a big, huge boy dog and sometimes I like him, but sometimes he gets buttfacey and gross and sniffs too hard and we get scared because he's about ten times my size. Last night he tried sniffing me too hard after trying a couple other times, and Momma didn't stop him and I said "NO!!" and bark and snarl and he gets scared because I'm such a badass. He starts running away and Momma runs after me so he will stop bothering me because thinks I'm running from him. I'm not. Later Momma says "Poor Toby."

Toby's house is where Cuddle Man lives. He's the boy who cuddles with Momma. He has always cuddled with Momma since very soon after I knew her, which is a long time ago for me. Cuddle Man cuddles with Momma and cuddles with Maggie and cuddles with me, which is why I like him. He likes to say "Hhello Puppehs" and talk to me in his puppy voice, which is why I like him. I am his favorite, which is why I like him. He calls me Professor Wigglebutt because I'm so smart and understand him and because when I'm happy I wiggle my butt because I have no tail to wag. I'm really good at it and it is very cute.

Cuddle Man has pizza for Momma! And there is a Beardy Human sitting on the other couch. He must be from the same litter as Cuddle Man because he smells sort of the same. But Beardy Human like Maggie more and Cuddle Man loves me so much, so I ignore Beardy Man.

Momma and Maggie and I stay at Toby's house forever and ever, but Toby's mostly away from us because we are in a room with the door closed. Sometimes we go on the balcony and sometimes we go in the fenced area to pee, but mostly we are in the room with Momma and Cuddle Man, which gets very warm because Cuddle Man makes a fire. Thankfully Cuddle Man lets us go out on the balcony or Maggie and I would have been too hot the whole time.

More importantly, Momma has pizza! She leaves some on the plate, which I decide I will finish for her because she looks full. One piece smells too spicy, and I have a sensitive digestive tract, so I leave it alone. The other piece smells really good, so I grab the crust, which tears off the bottom of the piece, so Momma can still have pizza if she's hungry, but now she has less to eat because she looks so full. Momma gets sort of angry, but she can't be angry because I don't even make a mess and because I am so cute. Cuddle Man thinks all this is very funny because I'm his favorite. Thanks, Momma. The crust was really good.

After that, there is a lot of cuddling. A LOT.

I am very tired when we go home. Actually, I am sort of tired now. I think I need a puppy bedtime.

The End!